Symptoms of separation anxiety in babies

Baby separation anxiety generally refers to when the baby is 7 to 9 months old. If the baby is separated from the parents or main caregivers at this time, the baby will cry and be restless, and will have separation anxiety. Because the baby is in a relatively weak emotional stage at this time, if separation occurs at this time, it may lead to more serious anxiety. Generally, after the baby is one year old, the intensity of this anxiety will gradually weaken.

Clinical manifestations

British psychoanalyst John Bowlby divided infant separation anxiety into three stages through observation:

1. Resistance stage: crying, kicking and making a fuss.

2. Disappointment stage: Still crying, but intermittently, less noisy movements, ignoring others, and having a dull expression.

3. Detachment stage: Accepting care from outsiders and starting normal activities, such as eating and playing with toys, but feeling sad again when seeing the mother.

How to deal with it

1. Cultivate self-care and adaptability

During the critical period of cultivating children's self-care and adaptability, attention should be paid to self-care training, such as practicing eating with a spoon at around 1 year old; eating independently (with a spoon or chopsticks) at around 2 years old; finding the potty by themselves when urinating and defecating at around 2 years old, and starting training and guidance on taking off and putting on pants; trying to complete urination and defecation by themselves at 2.5 to 3 years old, such as taking off pants and wiping buttocks with toilet paper and pulling up pants. Children who have learned the above items can adapt to kindergarten life more quickly.

2. Spend more time with peers

Starting from the age of one, take your child to places where there are many children to play and interact more with children of the same age; when he is around 2 years old, encourage him to actively interact with other children, and let him try to separate from his relatives for a short period of time in a place that he is very familiar with and safe.

3. Share everything about the nursery with your child

Let your child enjoy the first day in kindergarten. During the first month, constantly emphasize the benefits of kindergarten, discuss with your child what you have gained from going to kindergarten, understand your child's thoughts, and give reasonable explanations for any dissatisfaction.

Influencing factors

1. Children with many friends have less separation anxiety

Babies who grow up in large families have more contact with people on a daily basis, have a wide range of attachment objects, and have less separation anxiety. On the contrary, children who grow up in small families only stay with their parents or primary caregivers every day, have little contact with the outside world, have few attachment objects, and find it difficult to find other attachment objects after being separated from their caregivers.

2. Children with cheerful personalities tend to have less separation anxiety

Children who are usually lively, cheerful and happy will inevitably cry a few times when they are separated from their parents, but they will soon adapt to the time without their parents; however, children who are introverted and less independent generally have more severe anxiety and the anxiety lasts longer.

3. Children with poor independence and spoiled by their families have more severe separation anxiety

This type of children lack life skills and have poor self-care ability. Once they have to leave home and their parents, they don’t know how to cope. In kindergarten, teachers require children to have a certain degree of independence and self-care ability, including: eating by themselves, dressing and undressing by themselves, going to bed by themselves, being able to control urination and defecation, playing by themselves, abiding by certain rules, etc. These requirements can make young children feel challenged and stressed.